6 am: the caretaker opens the gates to The London Nautical School – the school that every kid wants to go to. This is the school that every Year 11 gets A* in. The school that every student loves every minute, from Year 7 all the way to Year 11. Where in fact only 62% got A*-C and they got outclassed by…. La Retraite. Which got a whole 21% more A*-C than London Nautical School. Don’t know why they even bother. Obviously, with good financial backing and with great facilities, next year they will surely beat…. La Retraite. 6:45: the gym lads and the over sized basketball players pile through reception to go get changed and do what they love to do. They show focus, stamina and determination, unlike the football team who have players like De-Quane Garba running late to a cup final because he went home to eat food. A little later, around 8:00, the teachers that actually care come into school, unlike the hypocritical teachers that give the students detentions for being late , even though they are at school either a minute earlier or the same time as them.
At around 8:20 the new Year 7’s arrive. They want to make a good impression to the teachers. They are waving goodbye to their parents, who think the teachers are good with the new kids, even though they do not know that later on in the school day their son will probably be screamed at by the always-perfect teachers. Following them the rest of the school come in – well I say come in: they all get stopped at the school gate to make sure their uniform is perfect like the teachers who always have their top button done up. They line up to fix their uniform like the line at PC World on Boxing Day. After them come the kids who are late by about 30 seconds but that 30 seconds turns into a 30 minute detention. These are the kids that are always the ones with the same excuse: ‘I was in the toilet’ or ‘There was a lot of traffic’.
After all the students are in and locked inside the school, they go to registration which is always fun. Then period 1 starts, which is usually the longest as you normally have a fun lesson like science, in which on induction day for Year 7’s they get to play with fire and Bunsen burners but as soon as they start school they never see a sight of one. A textbook is lumped at you: the teacher gives you page 137 and questions 1-12 to do while he or she sits on their phone watching YouTube. Then after 2 periods you get to go out for break for a whole 20 minutes. Well they say 20 minutes, but it’s actually like 10. They let you out like 5 minutes late so you can tidy up THEIR class and then they end it 5 minutes early so the students can get to their lessons.
They go back to another two periods of fun and joy. After them the students get to go out for lunch at 13:00 – well, unless you don’t get a detention for being about 30 seconds late or for laughing in your class where you can’t stop yourself from laughing. So if you do get a detention you get let out at 13:30, then have 5-10 minutes of lunch as the teachers make you go inside to get to class so you’re not late. When the kids with detentions do finally get let out they sprint to the lunch hall to find out that the lovely chicken and chips have been finished, so they have to buy a small grimy sandwich for nearly £2 which will never fill you up if you manage to eat it in time before the lunch staff kick you out.
15:30…. The pips go off.

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